From Here on Out

From Here on Out...


I have decided that I am done being a procrastinator. I am tired of the "I'll do it later" attitude that I (like many other people) have adapted to become the theme of their life. I am going to catch up on all of the little things that I have put off and that I have put on the proverbial "to-do" list. It is time for the great change, and I am ready for it! Little things like cleaning the house (and keeping it clean, lol), organizing and getting rid of things (clothes, papers, magazines, etc), getting my ass to the gym (and GOING 3-5 times a week even when I don't want to go).

This weekend I am focusing on the house - cleaning & organizing what I can. I have bigger plans for the bedroom but I need to get the room ready before I can do what I want to do with it. It's supposed to be rainy anyway, so rather than lounge on the couch, I will be working on the house.

Come Monday morning, I am implementing a new routine to my life... the gym! I have hit a wall in the weight loss on my own, so it is time to bring the gym in! I am going to go 3-5 days a week, no excuses (unless I am out of town or extremely ill). I have a goal in mind and I WILL get there. I lost about 70 lbs on my own last year and have no doubt that I can and will get to my next goal, I just need to stay focused.

And of course the next goal is to continue to do well in my classes. I got my Massage Tech business cards last week and ordered my table, so very soon I will be able to start massaging for tips. I signed up for 2 classes for next quarter- Deep Tissue Manipulation and Advanced Circulatory & Sports Massage. I'm actually very excited to be doing this program. I feel that I will be able to make a great living doing this! I am hoping that I will be able to get into the Padres or the Chargers, and still maintain a successful business of my own! While I complete the HHP program, I plan to possibly look at working for a spa or other company and start building a great personal clientele. As soon as I get my table I want to start handing out my cards at the tanning place I go to, my dog's camp, friends etc. I am really looking forward to it all. :)

So in all actuality, I am just looking to streamline my life. To make my home a relaxing, organized place where I can relax and study too. I am happy, but you can never be too happy :) To me you should always be improving yourself... always learning and growing as a person- becoming the best, most well rounded person that you can be.

xoxoxo Robyn

"Our Deepest Fear"

So, as many as you know, I am currently enrolled in a Massage Tech class, with the ultimate goal of obtaining my HHP (Holistic Health Practitioner's Certificate). Last night at the end of class, our Thursday night instructor Shaunna read this "poem" to us. As I found out after a bit of online research, it's actually and excerpt from a book called "A Return to Love", which was written by motivational speaker & author Marianne Williamson. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did, and not only pass it on to friends and family, but live by it as well. Love, Robyn



Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Ok, so the new year is just around the corner, and I am putting things in motion for what will hopefully be a fantastic new year!

First of all, I am determined to have a good, no GREAT New Year's this year. The last few years have pretty much sucked, and last year was the worst, having gotten pink eye a few days after Christmas! This year I am in a new (old) city, good friend visiting, New Year's party at The Catamaran hotel in Pacific Beach, amazing dress & shoes too! :) January 3rd we are going to see The Chargers vs The Washington Redskins with field level tickets! I get to spend 4 days with an amazing friend who doesn't bring the drama! She has never been to San Diego either, so getting to show her the beautiful city that I live in is going to be very fun... I have a lot of things planned... pictures to follow soon :)

I am looking into becoming a Sports Massage Therapist... even though I took the Sports Business Management course, there are no jobs here that I am interested in at the moment so I am looking for other options for the time being. There are a lot of athletes here in Southern California with the wonderful weather and all.

I have season tickets to the Padres, YAY! 5th row, right in prime autograph location :)

I have gotten rid of a little more (ok, a LOT more) drama out of my life, which feels incredibly nice. And, by getting rid of that drama, I open up my life to the people that matter most... friends & family who care. :)

Just Over It.

Most people who know me can confirm that if nothing else I am a good person and a very good friend. If my friends need something, I go out of my way to help them with whatever it is they need. I remember birthdays and holidays. I have forgiven friends when they have been not so nice to me and even when they have treated me like total crap. But honestly, where should the line be drawn?

Maybe that is my problem. Maybe I have been too good of a friend to people. When I have finally had enough of some people's drama, crap and random bad friend practices, it becomes MY fault when I don't want to be around it and put up with it.

I really don't understand why it is that I am all of a sudden not very nice. Screw that! I have constantly taken shit and bad treatment and behavior from certain people and just cause I am too nice to run around town and talk about it, doesn't mean it never happened. When I am constantly making excuses for someone's behavior and how they are, how can it come as a surprise when I have finally had enough of it? I am my own person and really don't relish having someone else's poor behavior attached to me. I have had birthdays and trips ruined because I haven't catered to someone else's issues.

I'm tired of being the one who has to be "the better person" and keep taking it. I'm tired of having bad experiences and yet giving people chance after chance after chance when all that happens is I get put into bad situation AGAIN.

Individuality Lost?

(Blogger's Note: This was a piece written at an earlier date. I found it in my files and posted.)



As I have gotten older, I have strived to really become an individual. Ever since high school, I havent really looked to anyone to be my role model or mentor in the areas fashion, romance or life in general. I am ME and I love ME, so why the hell would I want to become someone else?

I guess because I am such an individual, it makes me sad when someone hasn't found out who they are & spend their entire life striving to be someone else. I don't mind when someone appreciates something I wear or the way I cut or color my hair, but when they show up wearing the same outfit or sporting the same exact hairstyle, it kinda irritates me. I'm not sure if that is strange or not, but I really don't feel that it is appropriate to have to ask someone "What are you wearing today" just so that you don't end up looking like the freakin' Bobsey Twins.

I guess that it's just kinda of annoying. I try not to do it to other people so I suppose I feel that I should be given the same courtesy. Now don't get me wrong, if I see a cute piece I might ask where someone where they got it, and I may even get one, but not everything all the time... and certainly not wearing it on the same day that that person is wearing it. hmm, oh well. xoxoxo

On The Lighter Side

On a lighter note, Riley is growing up so fast! I had to post this recent photo of her! Even though she's naughty (I'm actually getting us a trainer to come to the house & they offer a lifetime guarantee of their services!) I love the hell outta her! xoxox

A Little Too Much Togetherness; A Brief Rant.

I love my mom, I honestly do, but I think that we have had a little too much togetherness since I've moved down here. If I don't take her suggestion on every single thing, I'm the bad seed. Tonight I was comparing something & hells forbid I'M right. She sees that I'm not giving into her and she gets all pissy and goes home (oh really, that ISN'T necessarily a punishment ya know!?!)

Wow, it's like I'm 31, I've not gotten knocked up, done drugs or been tossed into prison, so obviously I've been doing at least a few things right. I mean, while a good upbringing helps in that, it's what a person chooses to DO with the knowledge they've been given. Hell, she could've raised me the same way & I could've rebelled & turned into a real shit.

It just frustrates the shit out of me. I gave up my life of complete freedom to move home to mommy so to speak. I wonder what will happen the first time I bring a guy home, why do I feel like someone will be right here making sure her "little girl" is ok. Damn. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she will realize that I am an ADULT who is doing all that I can to be a successful person. I am not, nor will I ever be perfect. I am not looking for her approval, I am completely fine with living for me. The sooner that she realizes that she doesn't know everything and that we are just going to disagree on things, the sooner that I will stop thinking that I might as well double or triple what I am paying in rent and live somewhere I won't feel like a bug under glass. *grrrrr, sigh* xoxox